Finding a reason for walking on a beach, and then realising that the feeling of sand between the toes will powerfully evoke memories:

trying

I have looked up into the stars at night
That are so scattered
Across the infinitely deep sky

I have seen into great vacuums of awesome space
And been left standing
Not understanding
But trying.

So, here are a few ideas / questions about networking to push the thinking into some of the mechanics and principles of the activity:

Who is in your network?

Think broadly about this. Not just people who are close friends or colleagues. Improve your skills at collecting contact details for people. To get you started, use a mind map (or spider diagram) to set out the people who you are in contact with. Each arm of the map reaching out from you at the centre can be a domain or area of your life e.g. family, friends, work colleagues, people with common interests etc. Work on this for at least 30 minutes. If there aren’t at least a hundred people on this mind map you haven’t thought deeply enough!

Do you have an effective network planning tool? Is it backed up effectively?

There are many ways of managing a network. I use Microsoft Outlook’s Contact Database to capture my network contacts. It means that I have details with me at all times as I use a blackberry. It’s a great way to capture people’s contact details as well as snippets of useful information about them if like me you have a poor memory. The database should be backed up so that system failure (i.e. your computer dies) doesn’t mean that you lose all your contacts.

Do you review your network regularly?

I go through my network at least once a month, looking for people who I need to get in touch with to ensure that I am keeping regular contact. It takes maybe five minutes to just skim through all of the names A-Z and check for anything that jumps out at me. I usually come away from this with a few people I should drop an email to, or phone. And I may see someone in there whose details need updating.

Do you archive dormant contacts, and do you capture all contacts no matter how fleeting?

A network needs to be up to date.  The regular review helps you to keep it current. It’s also worth looking for people in the network who you haven’t been in contact with for some time. If there is no good reason to make contact now, archive the contact. Don’t delete it – you don’t know what is just into the future. You may have a reason to contact them which you are not aware of now. Try to capture contact details whenever you can. A business card, a phone number or email address. I input them into the database as soon as I can. If possible, follow this up with a quick contact if that is appropriate.

Who else should be in your network?

Take regular opportunities to review your network and think about potential gaps. Then take proactive steps to fill those gaps.

Do you have a worthwhile contact to make?

As I implied in the opening paragraph, effective networking is not about what you can get out of people, it is about what you can give. People are naturally suspicious of the “salesman” type approach to marketing where there is a pitch either explicitly there or implied. For effective networking it helps to begin by thinking about what you have to offer before you make the contact. That helps to maintain integrity in relationship building.

A key skill

It’s difficult to overstate the importance of networking. Relationships between us is what makes the world go round. The process of networking is at the heart of this. The first step of making the initial contact is something I used to find really difficult, particularly at networking events, conferences, seminars etc. I found a way round this by introducing myself and asking a quick question about the other person to get them talking about themselves. After a few goes at this it felt more and more natural. It has helped me to really enjoy the networking event.

Begin to write as you normally would. Carry on writing until you get to the end point. Then, review what you have written. Find the natural point in the writing where the work really kicks in: the point where you are actually in focus.

This is the point where you want the writing to begin. So, cut everything that comes before that – and you have two choices. You can either lose the earlier section if it doesn’t contribute anything, or move it further on in the writing.

Before

The dark is rising
Now hear all of this
Last night the stars shone
And I watched them twinkle
One drop in each shard of space
Another droplet like a tear from the eye
Flip inwards, peopled with creatures
All standing shell-like, open to us
Watching the night sky
Pacing forwards and
Backwards, until
The sky empties
No stars
No sun
No
N

If you want to see more of my writing, please drop your email address into the box over on the right. I’ll add it to my list, and send you content that isn’t available on the website.

We spend so much time trying to figure out what other people are thinking, trying to second guess what someone means when they ask us to do something. This is the stuff of working life, the ambiguity that we face every day.

We are given a project to deliver, or we are asked to become a member of a group. In each case we may get an email, see the person who is briefing us on the project. Then we have to make sense of the task. What did they mean? Is there a sub-text to this that we don’t understand? Why have we been asked to involve that particular person when they always seem to be so resistant? What exactly should the outcome be?

So we set off on a mission to clarify what this all means. We may spend ages trying to unpack it all in our head. Then we check it out with friends and colleagues.

We can get lost in the multiple layers of an onion, each time we speak to someone a new layer of intrigue is revealed. We piece together a complex picture, wondering how we are going to navigate our way through all of this.

And then at the point where it all seems like a state of chaotic confusion, the glaringly obvious suddenly strikes us.

Just ask.

Instead of trying to read minds, trying to make sense by going all around the problem, we should go direct to the heart of the problem. If it’s the boss we often don’t feel able to check back. But that is what we should do.

We should go back to the source – and ask. Seek clarification.

Yes, I know it seems staggeringly obvious. But how often have you wasted time trying to make sense of something when you could have just asked?

then one morning
eyes slightly out of focus
I was taken by surprise

there in the mist, early hours
was a deer, standing in the garden
grazing, eating berries from the trees

the winter had been hard
this deer was thin, lack of food
had left it no choice but to come to the house

I stood and looked out of the window
motionless, I waited for the deer to turn
then it looked me in the eye, ten seconds

Then gone

Just the connection, an open
one sense in which I can move on
let go of the me of last year

Spring time, will be here soon
new growth, beginnings
a chance to escape the famine of winter

Hope.

On Sunday I settled down late morning to write a poem. It’s approaching the anniversary of my father’s death and I wanted to do something that would help with this. I was also keen to build on something I had already written. I took a poem from a collection of poems back in 1998 called ‘Brother Spirit Brother Soul’ and thought this would provide useful inspiration.

The poem had 24 lines, so I dropped each line at the top of a separate page. The intention was to write a poem for each of the lines. After I had written one I thought I’d try another. Well, without going into detail on the passage of time, 6 hours later I had written 24 poems, chosen a photo for the cover and had a booklet completed.

I may return to it to do some further editing of the poems, but for now here it is. I’ve sent it out to a few people for comment. I’ve never had such an intensive period of creativity before. It’s fascinating to look back at it now and see how the ideas ebbed and flowed as time passed. Pushing myself on with the experiment brought through ideas that wouldn’t have otherwise emerged. An interesting experiment, which I think I will repeat.

What did it teach me? Immense amounts of creativity come just one step at a time. Commit to small steps. Having 24 titles to work with created the instant stimulus to work from, which made the process of generating something new easier because there was already a starting point.

Anyway, feel free to download the pdf by clicking here and have a look at the book – “Spirit Soul: Pursuance”. You can also go to this page to find other pdf’s for download. I’d welcome feedback. I’m still unable to open up comments without being deluged with junk, so use the contact form.

Time passes, and I am nearly ready to send out the next instalment. It will comprise 10 of the 30 tips / ideas developed from my coaching practise. The distribution list is growing. Let me know through the contacts page if you would like to be included. What does that mean? Well, I will send you the pdf of the 10 tips and ask you to give me feedback on it – not a lengthy review, just your reaction and any useful comments you may have. I also ask you to send the pdf to anyone else who you think might find it useful.

So, do get in touch if you are interested.

Here’s a poem, hot off the press, from a new collection I am in the middle of writing called “Father, Brother, Son”. On the poetry front, I will be posting the pdf of ‘November Suite’, a collection I wrote through the month of November last year, in the next few weeks. It will be available as a free download. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy reading this one:

This spectacular view again, bored with it

This spectacular view again, bored with it
- Staying in this temporary home -
What happens to the flow of life, with this big disruption?

And I see a jay, in the bush, unaware of me.
Magnificent costume, my clothes drab, lesson learned then.
The sun shines on the unjust and the cruel, like the victims too.

Winds serrate the landscape at 80 miles an hour for hours.
How does this have such a gut pulling shape on my emotions?
The eye of I wonders why.

Should I stare at a Rothko painting for days on end,
Contemplate the suicide of a place of turmoil,
To see into his three band state of mind?

Or should I walk on deserted beaches, deckchairs flapping
Seagulls pitching and dive bombing, thoughts of
Everything I lived in, everything I have lost?

Landscape then is all there is, the sense that
Living is bigger than loving, that is the start point,
Where survival holds all together, safe in harbour.

I will sail again, for new places, new people
But not until I have let go of old journeys,
And anniversaries that scrape the surfaces of my experiences clean.