How do we know unless we ask

We spend so much time trying to figure out what other people are thinking, trying to second guess what someone means when they ask us to do something. This is the stuff of working life, the ambiguity that we face every day.

We are given a project to deliver, or we are asked to become a member of a group. In each case we may get an email, see the person who is briefing us on the project. Then we have to make sense of the task. What did they mean? Is there a sub-text to this that we don’t understand? Why have we been asked to involve that particular person when they always seem to be so resistant? What exactly should the outcome be?

So we set off on a mission to clarify what this all means. We may spend ages trying to unpack it all in our head. Then we check it out with friends and colleagues.

We can get lost in the multiple layers of an onion, each time we speak to someone a new layer of intrigue is revealed. We piece together a complex picture, wondering how we are going to navigate our way through all of this.

And then at the point where it all seems like a state of chaotic confusion, the glaringly obvious suddenly strikes us.

Just ask.

Instead of trying to read minds, trying to make sense by going all around the problem, we should go direct to the heart of the problem. If it’s the boss we often don’t feel able to check back. But that is what we should do.

We should go back to the source – and ask. Seek clarification.

Yes, I know it seems staggeringly obvious. But how often have you wasted time trying to make sense of something when you could have just asked?